How Can I Ask My Partner for a Prenup?

By Karen Pritchard

Principal Associate

We understand that this can be a difficult topic to raise, particularly at a time when you and your partner are excitedly choosing outfits for the wedding, tasting wedding breakfast options and planning a dream honeymoon.

It is a sad reality, however, that just under a fifth of all marriages that took place in 2008 had ended by their 10th anniversary.

Where there is no prior agreement as to what the financial split will be upon divorce, the parties may find themselves subject to costly, stressful and lengthy negotiations or court proceedings. The outcome will also be unknown, which causes parties anxiety at a time when they are dealing with the financial and emotional consequences of the separation.

Very often, we understand that it is the ‘less well-off’ spouse that might suggest a prenup is entered into. But how should the request be made if they do not?

Arguments are generally caused when the person that wants a prenup demands that their spouse agrees to a prenup – rather than starting a general conversation about the possibility.

Try to listen to the other person and understand their position. Do not assume that their reluctance or upset at the suggestion is because they want to be able to seek a share of your assets on divorce.

Try to explain why you want to have a prenup. Sometimes we find it helpful for clients to approach a prenup as they do with their home insurance (they don’t want their home to burn down, but they want to be protected if it does!)

Try to remain calm and professional. It may be hard to keep emotion out of the conversation, but you will both have a clearer understanding of each other’s views and wishes if you do so. It may be sensible to agree to continue the discussion another time if emotions are high.

Consider whether it would be helpful to use a mediator to discuss the terms of the prenup. A mediator should be able to help you both to understand the other’s point of view.

Prenups should be entered into at least 21 days before the wedding, but they can and ideally should be finalised much earlier than that.

Not only will the prenup stand a better chance of being upheld if it is not entered into during the stressful time prior to a wedding, but it will allow you to both focus on each other and be able to enjoy the wedding build up as much as possible.

For more information and to find out how we can help you, please contact us on 0345 646 0406 or fill in our online enquiry form and a member of our Team will be in touch.